


Accidentally President: A Tumblr Prompt

by ussnicole



Category: Original Work
Genre: Flash Fic, Gen, I don't know how government works, POTUS, Regret, Richard doesn't know why he did this, Tumblr Prompt, accidental presidency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 19:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11493285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ussnicole/pseuds/ussnicole
Summary: From the tumblr prompt where some dude runs for president for fun and accidentally gets elected and then proceeds to do everything in his power to be impeached. And yet. Everything he does works.





	Accidentally President: A Tumblr Prompt

Richard had had some wonderful ideas before, but none topped this one. And by wonderful, he meant wonderfully horrible.

Richard had run for president.

And he won.

It’s not that he hadn’t wanted to be president; on the contrary, it had been a childhood dream. But now that he was faced with the predicament of having accidentally won the presidential race, he realized that he was perfectly happy as Governor of California. He didn’t even like the East Coast, and he liked the people here even less.

Not to mention running the country.

Turns out that America had quite a few problems, and they were problems he most definitely wasn’t ready to even begin to try to solve. But he was so popular, and when he expressed even a hint of stepping down, the whole country was in uproar. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to leave; he actually couldn’t.

Last month, for example. He had gotten desperate, wandering the halls of his new, ridiculously large home. In desperation for an impeachment, he had called his advisor and told him that he wanted a bill passed as soon as possible, banning Doritos across the nation. His advisor was hesitant, but followed his orders anyway, and the bill had been passed the next day.

In a recent study that came out last week, scientists found out that Doritos, in fact, were the number one cause of cancer, and that his banning the popular chip had saved lives. He smiled and answered questions for the cameras, pretending like he knew what he was doing, but when he went to bed that night he screamed into his pillow. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

The day after he had gotten the bad news about the Doritos fiasco, Richard had gotten even more frustrated and, in what he could only describe as a temper tantrum, had ordered his vice president arrested.

Turns out he had been plotting against the government and was an active member of the Taliban.

He couldn’t catch a break.

Just last Monday, he crossed his fingers and sent another bill to Capitol Hill, banning bubble gum. Of course, after the abolition of the popular candy, a hurricane stopped in its tracks and two tornadoes that had been set to touch down in the next few days had disappeared. America loved him, and he was trying his hardest to make them hate him.

He just couldn’t go wrong.

Now, he was pacing in his room, having sent his advisor to go watch a football game. Richard was at his wits’ end, trying to think up something that would get him out of the office. Finally, a great idea hit him:

Let’s wage war on Canada!

He immediately called his Secretary of Defense, but after the phone call was left with a sinking feeling in his stomach that he had screwed up again.

“Mr. President, I’m glad you called. We’ve been tracking movement on the border between Canada and the United States for quite some time, with suspicions about nuclear activity. Just this week we got confirmation of nuclear missile testing in Northern Canada, and after intercepting a transmission just this morning, there is a large possibility that, had we not decided to declare war, they would have.”

“Of course…” Richard replied hesitantly, hanging up and slumping down against his desk.

Of course.


End file.
